|Sunday - in flares I go for a random walk|
and buy a blouse for future use at work.
I get FaceApp to do the dirty.
So it was that I went back to work and rapidly built up new practices: I no longer have a beard; I wear an alice band; I wear glasses; I underdress; I have new socks. True, work made things hard - it always does - and the cyber-attack and subsequent shenanigans making me feel more precarious; but mostly I weathered it (felt very down when my tooth exploded) and now my children are away for the week.
|I really like the train-wreck hair here,|
even if the app really struggled with the
dimensions of my face.
Partly due to the fact that KT is likely there and I'm not ready for her to know about me just yet - she is in contact with Tilly and is likely to 'let slip' what she knows and I'm not ready to have Tilly find out via someone else. And I didn't want to go in disguise enough to do that either.
|This one is just... nice.|
Here I sit, dressed as me, glass or Rose wine on hand, and I think: how long? Next academic year perhaps? Sooner?
I really enjoyed the summer. I really enjoyed the chance to be me, the realisation that I could be me and still function. I found myself exactly where I feared I would be, but, in the end, there was no real fear. Not really. There was just me. And that was wonderful. I caught glimpses of me in the mirror and what I saw there was joy, happiness, contentment. I saw myself as if for the first time. I have slept better these last six months than I remember sleeping for a long long time. And, tonight, as I applied mascara in the mirror, I realised just how much I actually like myself. Sorry, typing that has brought tears to my eyes that I simply wasn't expecting. I'm going to stop typing now.