It seems as though, once again, Leslie was right.
A series of difficult decisions now have to be made. The time has come, the crux of the matter is here, awooga awooga, this is not a drill etc etc. My marriage may well be at an end. We shall see.
Support has been sought, found, tested, and used. Discussions are taking place. Reality reversal is in full effect but we're moving, ish, toward resolutions.
I also took the time to re-read my first month of posts. Startlingly, for me, they set out very much what I still think. But more clearly and more eruditely than I have done for quite some time. They set out the very simple points at the heart of all of this. The most important were the first four - the ones written before I had a blog to post them to. The images may have changed, or have gone bad, but the text remains remarkably clear. I wish I could still write with that kind of clarity. Anyone reading this blog and wondering about my own take on gender should read them if they want to actually learn something about me and what makes me tick. Hell, I learned something.
And they accurately predict the last seven years of this blog, tellingly, as well as setting out what the topics of the discussions that Tilly and I are now having would be, along with some interesting points on how they would turn out. Not in so many words, but re-reading was illuminating for me, at least. It further proves that I am rather consistent, it is Tilly who is not.
My only direct comment is to share that Tilly told me that she was once more adventurous, before she met me, in the intimacy department. Even the early part of our relationship, but then there were my confusing responses and arguments. Now she's a middle-aged woman with three children. When I claimed on here that I made her boring it turns out that I was spot on. It was me that turned her off sex.
Words of warning and welcome:
This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.
It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the "Story So Far" Page above this and the "New Readers" tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!