|More illustrated story than caption to be fair.|
On both nights I indulged in corner time using a corner time app, which was lovely, as it happens. I don't know why that should make a difference, it really is a strange thing to be taking a fascination with, but it was relaxing and actually felt quite liberating. It got me thinking, again, about missed opportunities to live as I seem to want to live whilst I was at University and when people would actually have been pretty supportive. It got me thinking about my naivete when I was looking for a partner in assuming that I would be the stick in the mud and the one who would be holding back on the bedroom front. And about why I initially went out with Toby and wanted to stay with her. And what attracted me to Tilly - her apparent adventurous nature and Devil-may-care approach to life in general.
My vicar warned us that oftentimes relationships would be like that. The one partner would wish the other to change and they wouldn't, the other wishing their partner would stay the same only for them to change. I think we live that particular cliche. It was a sobering thought and so, naturally, I put it to the back of my mind and enjoyed the evenings. I even cleaned the house, as I had been requested, whilst dressed on the second evening.
|An Art Teacher with some serious|
No offence, Miss, I wish I could
look that good!
A parents' evening (never know where the apostrophe goes any more, I end up second-guessing myself too much) and another late night after the weekend (itself the last gasp of marking) means that I haven't really been a proper parent to either of our eldest despite taking the new child for an hour or so of an evening whilst Tilly bathes or washes her hair or just has some time alone.. I can't complain, making a roast on Sunday gained me an actual hug and unbidden peck on the cheek, the first such things since she discovered she was pregnant.
I expected this, I predicted it, and I was not wrong. All Tilly's protestations when she was trying to get me to agree to having a third child about how she would be different and how she would be more emotionally and physically open to me were... well, no, let's not be unfair. She was much happier with what I did and didn't get angry with me as much, nor as resentful and didn't blame me for things at random. Which helped me as it showed me just how much she did the first two times and how much of all of that truly wasn't my fault - being much more than I had assumed at the time - but it wasn't anywhere near what she said she would be like - not that I actually believed any of what she said. I realise that sounds a tad accusatory, it isn't meant like that.