Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the "Story So Far" Page above this and the "New Readers" tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Friday, 5 April 2013


Yes, I do sometimes get angry.
My father is worried about my stress again. And also about the choices that we have made regarding home-schooling. We visited them and I was taken to one side and quizzed about how much stress it was causing me (and reminded again that I don't respect people in authority and how I wasn't always right - which I know, but when I am right I will damn well say so, and so in my current situation at work: no, I don't respect  my managers because they're all fucking useless and I'm the one being put under scrutiny by people who have to check what the fuck they're doing and then blame me when they get it wrong... ahem, sorry).

So, yes, they were worried about my stress. I defended the situation and I pointed out that work caused most of my stress.

But I was wondering. Just wondering, you understand. I was wondering if I should tell him. If I should tell my father that I cross-dress. I know, from my mother's response when I sort of told her, that my father wore baby-dolls at least once (because she had some that would fit me and I was the size my father was when they married) and that he had some other rather odd predilections. That is, he suggested threesomes and getting the neighbours to watch or have my mother doing the neighbours whilst my father watched. Okay, this was all hearsay from my mother after the divorce when I now know she was playing games and so I have no idea how much is true. But he's told me stuff about his current marriage and how he's tried to apologise for stuff and so I know there's kink involved somewhere.

The point isn't all of that, the point is that my father didn't, still doesn't, know about my own issues. I hinted at them. To reassure him about my stress levels ("You always look like you're about to blow up and stressed," added Tilly later) I said that there were only two sources of stress for me: my work and another issue that wasn't family but wasn't ready to let out of the box just yet. Okay, not very reassuring. But...
I snored. So I slept. The Boy was up most of the rest of
the night. This annoyed Tilly.
I got cramp.

Should I? Is this something I ought to be pursuing?

In other news, apropos of nothing, Tilly and I shared a bed there. With the Boy as well, but we shared a bed. And, wonders will never cease, she got a little bit physical. Leg over my leg and holding hands and everything. Of course, tonight she's feeling sick and tired again so there's no chance of a repeat performance. I think she might be buying me off for the conversation a few days back. And you know? I'm almost ready to be bought off.

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!