If I could offer you one tip for the future, sun-screen would be it. The long term benefits of sun-screen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my [writing] has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. Slowly but surely the edifice is semi-rebuilt and I end up feeling not a little sheepish.
The HDD came back unmolested, no problems, they scanned for the malware and found nothing and so looked no further. My laptop has the malware and, though I told them I needed no data from it, they've sent it away to save the data. This data is mainly student work downloaded from online storage so I absolutely don't need any of it. Oh well, they were trying to do right by me, I just wish they hadn't! I'm on a loaner laptop, about twenty years old but at least it works.
|Oh, yeah, bought some new trousers that|
might not match the jacket, but may match
the idea being shot for...
On Thursday I had a chat with Miss Warrington. I have been getting steadily more excited about the new Matrix film now that I have had explained to me precisely how the first film (and, indeed, the sequels) are, in fact, a trans allegory. It's... well, it's kind of obvious now I look at it (surface level: living in a world where things seem off but not knowing why; the red pill is oestrogen; Trinity is filmed to be attractive to lesbians. Going deeper: the relationship twixt Neo and Trinity is not a hetero one at all; the posters merge Trinity and Neo's face a lot; Cypher was supposed to be a woman outside the Matrix and a man in it - hence the conversation with the Agent, it's transition regret - there's more, but that'll do for now). But, that aside, I really enjoyed the first film (and then buried how much I liked the follow ups in the welter of bad press) and the trailer reminded me about how much I enjoyed it. I mean, I was friends with a bunch of sci-fi geeks when the first one came out and went to see it with them at a Film Society showing for the first time. We discussed it a bit, you might say, and of course I played with the idea of being in the Matrix but being a woman in a pod with a male avatar - because of course I did and I read the fanfic that did that different ways. Been using scenes for my whole career (the fight and jump program scenes) with Sixth Formers after their first essay: "everybody falls the first time".
|Surprisingly enough, Real Life Comics sort|
of sums up my thoughts (emphasis on sort of).
It's been doing that... a lot?
Wore the pink accented glasses to work every day but Thursday (went with blue to match the tie, but it didn't feel right, so went back to pink), and my bralette on Thursday and Friday. Got changed into my flares most nights, been in my nightie and stuffed bra every night apart from Tuesday and last night (goodness, I wasn't prepared for how much of a part of my routine that has become) and... Yeah. Leaned into the whole Mx thing and I do feel soooo much better than I usually do at work. My hair is now long enough that I can do a high ponytail to keep it dry when not washing it. I... I like that. And even when it's unbrushed and messy I feel like I'm looking at myself in the mirror of a morning. With everything, that has been a real tonic. I even had a chat with a female colleague who doesn't know about how to straighten hair (or at least avoid the strange kick-back I'm developing) that went... well, rather well actually.
|Not gonna lie, would love to dress|
like this for work.
In all of this, I have never thought of myself as being in the wrong body. It's mine. Baz Luhrmann told me how it was the most perfect instrument I would ever know. It's hairier than I wanted in places that I didn't want hair but that sort of thing can be solved without changing my body or even who I am. And it didn't do some of the things that... well, I knew it wouldn't do (I'd read the Body Book) but still kinda hoped that maybe it would - like a mistake had been made in the admin when I was born or something, you know? Like, maybe I'd be lucky enough to have gynecomastia? I wasn't. And, I'm off on a tangent.
But trust me on the sun-screen.