Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Saturday, 6 May 2017

Cable Street's Failure

See, she's balancing. See what I did there?

And, also, yeah, well, there's that thread that runs through
this blog like something that is a thread. Hmm.
Balance is key, so the aphorism would have it. There is something in giving and taking and allowing some semblance of balance into life. Work and everything else, self and family, stress and not. Beer and not beer. I am struggling.

Tell me something new! Thank you rhetorical device, I shall. See, there are politics all around. And it would appear as though I shall be on the losing, nay, the crushed side again. And I don't know what to do. It is terrifying. I see the future, sort of, and I kinda know where things are going. Not specifically, but generally enough to know that within two years we're going to struggle as a family to function - we're just on that cusp financially and socially. As social conservatism rises and scrutiny becomes more invasive and complete I wonder just how long I shall last in my current line of work with my current line of issues and how long I can possibly maintain any separation twixt my public and private life. Will there still be the facility to be diagnosed when the waiting list reaches the point I can go and be diagnosed? Will that just accelerate being discovered? How long can we rely on privacy anyway?

An anti-Nazi rally in Berlin in 1932. Looks powerful and strong
but we know what came next. They just suspected it.
A gathering storm is evident. It's the 1930s alright but in a new and subtle way. In the UK there's no obvious fascism, just the drum-beat of jingoism in the background growing increasingly insistent; there's no obvious route to death camps, just the casual disregard for people that need help and care getting increasingly higher up the scale; there's no obvious rounding up of asocials, just the increasing disparaging of those who disagree. It's a scary place to be. Am I in an echo chamber? I suspect that I grew up in one. Maybe I still am. Maybe the coming epoch will bring that rugged individualism that is so addictive to those on the right, afforded to those that the right feel deserve it and I am just a snowflake about to be evaporated by the coming global increase in temperature.

The Women's March in London in January this year. Looks powerful and strong
but we don't know what will come next. They just suspect it.
I read about socially progressive people, that is, people who have benefited from more progressive approaches to society, saying that they won't vote progressive for spurious and fallacious economic reasons based on propaganda and 'personal experience'. I don't understand. My experience, anyone's experience, is rather useless when confronted with actual trends and data. As a military historian I know to be wary of any big picture stuff from someone who was there - they don't see everything and any future research is coloured by what they wish to find from their experience. Not to say that one should strive to be objective, such a thing is impossible, but I do know that my own experience is no decent guide to, well, anything. I am swayed by statistical analysis and combined trends. That tells me that, economically, the social progressives tend to do better in my own country, YMMV, at least since 1945. Furthermore, that people who have benefited from social progression would vote against it when those who would roll it back have already started to do so and promise to do so more is infuriating and mystifying to me.

A British MP, Jo Cox, was assassinated by a right-winger
and we carry on as if it is all normal. He was mentally ill, they
say, and so there was no politics here. We have calm and clear
politics. Strong and stable. To challenge is chaos.
Some people seem to believe words over deeds or, worse, come out with the "all politicians lie" line as though that excuses the fact that they are voting for actual liars - because all politicians lie so vote for the lies you like the best? It makes no sense. Surely find the politician that doesn't lie? Ah, but then you'd have to face uncomfortable truths, about Brexit, about your friends and neighbours and about people you have never even met. You'd have to accept compromises and maybe even face some unpalatable home truths. Maybe you would even have to lose out some of what you have that others may gain and we can't be having that. I doubt it is my Aspie nature but there may be some element in it - I am quite happy to degrade my existence and experience if it means that a more equitable society is the result. Raise my taxes if the NHS can be helped and returned to full coverage. Lower my wages if it means that the Minimum Wage can be increased for those on lower pay. Increase my mortgage if it means that houses become more affordable or rents can go down and landlords be held accountable enough to provide a better quality of housing to be rented. Increase my workload if others' falls, especially if they were working harder than me. But that is not the general way of things.

I look around and I am scared.

In the meantime, an update.

Speaks for itself.
I am on the sofa, as predicted, so that I get sleep and can go to work. This is working. I am also making the meals as much as possible, which is sort of working but Tilly is reaching the point where she wants different food but has no idea what. This will eventually lead to issues. She is losing sleep as our children have colds at the moment and there is a dance show on the way for the Girlie so that she is finding things hard to. I am barely seeing my children again, working into the late evening and night because Tilly needs respite from a small child. I barely see Tilly for that matter. Washing the pots, cooking the meals and keeping the house tidy. Mostly doing the washing too, when I get chance, and maintaining the pet. I don't mind, but as Tilly gets increasingly tired and sleep deprived and adds more and more extra to her life I know full well that the time approaches where her frustrations will be loosed upon me.

She has started gardening again, at increased levels to what she was doing before she was pregnant. She has increased the amount she does to support Girlie and the amount of travelling she does to get both children to classes. She has reduced the amount of crafting and activities she does with our elder children whilst increasing the amount of time they spend alone - which is a bit random in my mind - and has decreased the amount of time she spends with friends (and friends for our elder two) and the amount of contact she has with people online. I can't do much on this score. I suspect that the political situation at present colours my views on these things more than it ought.

Not much else to share here. Not right now.

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All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!