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This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Irascible

In which I shall answer "no" to Parralox if I substitute myself as the 'me' in the lyrics.


I need to cultivate my image of being an unapproachable irascible heartless bastard more.

Harry, my colleague, was today cryptically telling me how hard they were finding the year - decoding, I think the timetable is a stress point. It did for flaky-colleague. Harry now is adamant that it is all too hard and, well, I am the one who creates the timetable.

My depression grows. Harry claimed they were drowning. I suspect I may be also. Harry is drowning because I am drowning and I can't do what is needed to support my colleagues. Carla is also struggling, pregnant and with a wriggly foetus that prevents sleep. Alice is struggling, but quietly, getting used to the demands of having a small child who ruins sleep and yet is cute. As an aside, Alice has had more dates with their marriage partner in the last four months (since the birth of their child) than I've had since I married Tilly. Just sayin'. Harry, who has ended one relationship before Christmas and divorced a year before that, has had more date partners than I've had dates.

The 1980s loom large in my thinking. My lessons are suffering. A student has used me as a sounding board and support as their life falls apart. Hour-long conversations from this student are not uncommon, then I spend about half an hour writing them up and making sure copies go to all the relevant people in the school - after all, this sort of thing is fraught with danger for me as a professional. The student needs the sounding board, in fairness, there's nothing to actually be done, they just need someone to blather at. For some bizarre reason I'm that person. Yay?

Girlie is ill and sleeping in with us. She gets just over a third of the bed-space. Tilly gets half. I get the rest. I haven't slept comfortably as a result. But I am struggling to get out of bed. Really struggling.

This morning, Tilly was actually awake before I left for work. She had work to do on Twitter (long story, don't ask) and I wished her good luck with it brightly and in a sunshine-y way. I was informed, curtly, that she was going to miss most of the day due to the party our children were invited to in the afternoon. I apologised and wished her a good day. I was curtly informed that it probably wouldn't be. She tried to explain that she was being sarcastic to herself, not me, and reminded me that I didn't see her in the mornings so I wouldn't have picked up on her moods and outward appearances. No, you stupid bitch, I don't fucking see you in the fucking morning because you sleep in until I've fucked off. Apparently I'm still angry about that. I ended up apologising via text at work because of the cold feeling as I left the house. That seemed to do the trick.

This evening I was regaled with tales of the day and the need for Tilly to off-load the stresses and strains of events. These were legitimate stresses and strains. She asked about my day, but as we moved into the kitchen to talk she changed the subject mid-sentence (mine) and launched back into her day. This lasted the twenty minutes we had, she thanked me for letting her rant, then retired to work once more. I'm about to go and get the chinchilla out. You know, that duty that was supposed to have been taken back by Tilly for a fucking pet I never wanted. It's fine, it's not like I've actually been using my time to work or anything.


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All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!