Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Let's Twist Again

Is this her or me?
New contract. Good money. Article due in by the end of January. Reading necessary, so that's been this evening and will continue after Christmas Day. I'll do my marking I guess, as that's all our evenings gone. Tilly has already said we won't be up to see the New Year in, she's planning an early night. I've cocked up, organised seeing my father for his birthday, stupid idea - he won't be happy or satisfied and nor will we. That's tomorrow and tomorrow evening will be 'recovering'. Last night I cocked up too. After posting I got embroiled, we shared some alcohol but I'd already had an ale and so I was quickly gone. I got to put my arm under her shoulders in lieu of hugging in bed, woke at about 3am because my arm was so numb I could barely move it. Tilly tucks up tight, there's no chance of any other contact.

Christmas food shopping is done. One or two bits to get in the morning - that's my main duty.

Except that the room light is on, I'm trying to sleep - or
downstairs - and she'll finish when she's ready. Then it's lights
out and bedtime. No, there is never chance for snuggles
after reading. That's not a thing.
She's upstairs reading Game of Thrones again. Early night. We need to be up early to prepare seeing my father. I managed to get the children to write gift tags, ish, and that's been my one and only triumph. Tilly is too stressed to talk carnally or even just talk. I lack the will to push it now. We're housemates, I guess, and we co-parent. We haven't kissed today and we didn't last night either. For what that's worth. At the end of the holidays, likely after finishing the article, Tilly will return to book writing and research - that's our evenings gone again. Just as predicted in July or around then. I wonder what I'll have done wrong this time around? Will it be the Discussion? Not having therapy?

I've booked an appointment at the doctor's - see if I can get a referral to get diagnosed with AS. That will be a huge part of anything, I know that, maybe that's the exit plan? Difficult to see what therapy could do for me at this moment and still less what it could do for the relationship. Tilly is happy, though, happier than she has been and that has been happier than she was where we used to live.

Better than this time last year?

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All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!