Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

You got the Brains...

No marking yet, but look at that top and the glasses!

First full day back with actual teaching taking place today. Of course I am losing my voice and totally shattered. No worries, it is always thus. I have thoughts on poetry to share, but lack the time and inclination to type them all up now. Suffice to say that I found the title of the poem that my father showed me (The Way Things Are) and the poem referred to by my good friend in the last post (This Be The Verse) and did some digging on the authors and their meanings in the poems. It was illuminating. I do, as a consequence, need to speak to my father about it though.

Also, dice games. On the Haven one of my favourite parts of the Forums is the section on Dice Games. I think I may have spoken of this before. Well, part way through the recent holiday season I started putting one together. It remains unfinished but I hope to share that here at some point before the eventual heat death of the Universe. Also, in a similar vein, I was struck by an old idea that I wrote when I was around eleven. I have spoken of that before: Boy to Girl. It was a story in which the protagonist wakes up in the body of a girl having been a boy and responds to life thus changed, all the while not knowing why or how the switch has taken place. Apart from being heavily influenced in tone by Quantum Leap and my own school experiences it is notable for being bilge in terms of reactions. Tellingly, there is no examination of the physical changes or clothing, instead there is much that suggests that eleven year old me saw no difference in friendship dynamics between girls and boys. The girl characters are all human beings and, apart from being girls, are largely indistinguishable from male characters in other attempts at writing contiguously from the period in question. The main focus of the story was the masculinity used to silence enemies and critics within the story, as being unexpected, and revolves around (I shit ye not) understanding and fascination with the First World War. That's... it. Eleven year old me clearly thought that masculinity stemmed from study of and fascination with the First World War - like knowing facts and figures - along with revealing this information in a low, threatening, snarl and aggressive body-language. So... not actually a typically masculine thing.

However, I did get to thinking that maybe I could noodle about with that again and offer a more mature perspective on it. Mainly on what exactly would be transferred in such a switch and what would make the biggest changes. I think the lack of introspection on physical aspects and clothing, for an eleven year old, may well have been accurate and interesting. The complete lack of sexual overtones was also something that seemed to resonate in my much older brain as I remembered it. What brought it to mind in the first place, by the bye, was the family of the girl with whom the boy switched (neither were ever named) - the father was the one who took the girl to school, who saw her off and said nice things (but with no 'typical' female pet-names used at all, nor particular terms of endearment) and thus being not at all like my father. Mind you, it was to a boarding school so... I don't know. And the mother, who, in the story, was emotional and readable and strangely absent in person despite being a clear influence in the 'home life' section that served as prologue to the girl body that the boy had switched into (she woke the girl up from behind the bedroom door, provided breakfast but was not in the kitchen when the character arrived and called out as the father took the girl to the car). These depictions of familial love and situation were the mirror of my own life (and that may have been deliberate on some level).

I no longer have a copy of the story, but remember these details as they were 'important' it would appear. It seemed fitting when reviewing the recent trip to my father.

I also totally missed the Pet Shop Boys signal in the sky from Dee, I am losing my touch and may have to turn in my Extra Benefits Fangirl card!

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