|I rather like this silhouette actually. In many ways it is|
less objectifying than picking an actual woman to identify
with, you know, like I do in my avatar.
This has allowed me to transform the place that I started to ruminate on the happiness that I felt, however fleeting, from cross-dressing into a journal of my family and my sex-life (or lack thereof). And, even more lately, I have stopped posting regularly or, even, at all. For a whole host of reasons. Rhi, that tower of strength that she often fails to recognise in herself, pointed out that some of my recent posts had an air of resignation to them - an acceptance of how things were despite them being less than I would like and there is some truth in that. I do hope that Leslie still gets a chance to pop by as well, though I haven't heard or seen anything from that quarter in an age. So, here I am posting again, and it's been almost a full month since last time.
|I would, of course, like to try this.|
We're approaching TMI territory, so that means a line-break is coming. I'll stop here and take it up after the line-break in a moment.
Before I do, all that guff at the beginning about anonymity and safety. This blog has been shared with someone I know in real life. They are trustworthy, my teacher-friend who I believe I have mentioned before. Turns out he and his wife were aware of my proclivities due to Catherine's picture mentioned many times and, until recently, the only photographic evidence of me having cross-dressed. This is my statement of intent - I will remain honest and open and brutal on here. My friend can be trusted to read it, comment on it and respond without divulging to anyone else. It will not affect his regard of me, of that I can be sure. And now I have recorded it here.
So, since my last post on here in July I hadn't actually done anything sexual at all. That night, rather than check on comments, I decided to let some of that pent-up sex stuff out. Now, full disclosure, my wife and I managed to get some action at the end of July but, since then, nothing. Since that night I have also not gone back to do any solo acts - and this lasted whilst we went to see my mother right the way through the following week and then the week after when we went down south to see Tilly's. It broke, again, when we got back and I was back on to GetDare and BoundLife as I referenced above. It is interesting to me that this sort of addiction, for it is, should resurface before posting here did. It is of further interest that the immersion in Dice Dares, faproulettes and the rather awesome Dice Games that dominated my time whilst marking full-tilt should almost disappear over that short time and be replaced by an almost confusion what to do solo. That is, I knew I wanted a bit of release and I knew that Tilly wasn't up for anything - whilst with my mother we slept in different rooms, in the week between she worked most evenings and was 'on' and then, down south, she was often out of the room until after I fell asleep - lots of driving.
It's that old chestnut of work. Tilly is embroiled in writing her book, as well she might be, and getting stressed about having it done on time - which I can't fault. Back at the end of the school year I was very pleased by the fact that Tilly said she wanted to spend time with me on evenings after the children had gone to bed. I thus started this holiday with something of an expectation that this would be happening. The plan was pretty simple, actually, she would cut back on writing with her buddy every other night to twice a week. The saved evenings would be spent with me, in each other's company, after the children had gone to bed. It sounded really nice. That's... not how it's gone. We had a lovely evening together whilst up at my mother's, it was around our anniversary. We even had an actual anniversary thing with take-out and a film when we were at home. And that's been it. Every other 'free' evening has been spent with her working on blog posts or her book on her laptop, sometimes in the same room but increasingly elsewhere in the house. Slowly, inexorably, we drift back to where we were.
Indeed, this post is even looking like some of the ones I was making back this time last year. I'll stop now.