|I still love this image and I cannot complain about the|
fact that I still own the dress, after everything.
I'd still love the shoes.
I've been pootling at Wordpress, well, last night anyway and, so far, it's not as intuitive as here. I hope I'm not targeted. And it's that kind of language that has me worried. They are targeting, and it's their platform so they can if they wish, but my concern lies with the haste and the lack of explanation. It seems as though no one saw this coming and so one must question why now and why this particular battlefield. One must also wonder, aloud, if this is just the first strike. What's next? Is there a next?
|A blast from the past here.|
I'd be very happy to be like this for a
spell but I recognise that it is highly
unlikely and that female Dommes
are actually quite rare.
Secondly, those results. They were far from surprising given my posts on here and the sorts of things I have shared from the dark recesses of my mind in my time here. What was surprising, if anything, was the low score of dominance. I mean, I remember taking charge quite well when dressed in my relationship with Toby. I haven't so far in my relationship with Tilly, I mean, I tried, but she's not in the least bit interested and never has been. Apparently I scared the pants off her once with handcuffs - I should stress that I don't recall this and I was the sober one, so I would think that maybe she's mis-remembering the incident, but there we go. What else was surprising was the low score, generally, of things like 'slave' and 'brat' - the latter referring to the sort of sub who likes being punished.
|The famous scene, later than we managed as a couple.|
Still haven't dressed and it's there in the back of my mind at the moment so there's that too.
A quick marriage update:
1. Physical and emotional intimacy from a single, female, partner.
Improvement. There is definitely some here and some effort on her part, but still pretty infrequent if regular. Still, baby steps, right?
2. Security of need - to know that I will be supported and desired.
Definitely supported, and she is trying very hard to make that clear and obvious; less obvious on the desire front, but she is trying at the moment. Amazing what shitty changes I can bring about by being a shit. No, that is meant as self-attacking, not smug.
3. To be loved for who I am and to love in return.
Still unclear. I love her, definitely. She loves me, but I'm not sure how far she accepts what I am finding out about myself. Nor how much I can expect anyone to love that.
4. To be complimented once in a while.
She has tried once or twice but only if she thinks I'm fishing for it. Mostly when I'm not.
5. To have playful and experimental experiences that may, or may not, lead to sex.
Some movement here. Not sure it's experimental here: she's agreed to try one thing I put on my map (dressing up) when we have costumes. It's been three weeks and we haven't agreed costumes, much less ordered or worked out what we would do with them. Keep in mind that she has a costume and has mentioned it a few times and I've said yes but there's been no movement there.
7. To leave with a kiss goodbye, arrive home to a kiss hello. Hell, to kiss once in a while.
We're trying, marked improvement.
8. To come first once in a while and be able to allow my partner to come first too. And no, not in a sexual sense.
Not yet. She comes first a lot of the time. I mean, being honest, the fact we do anything at all is probably enough to say that I come first in a manner of speaking - certainly in a way that has not been true for most of this blog.
9. To dress safely and be able to talk about that fully. To have someone understand the liberation it brings to me and accept it, even if they don't want anything else to do with it.
As far away from that as I ever was. Though we did discuss the existence of this blog, obliquely, following the announcement yesterday. So... there's that.