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This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Mixed Messages


Ha ha ha. Hahahaha. Hahahahaaaaaa!

As if.
It's been a strange weekend. Friday night I have already related and on Saturday morning I was woken, yes woken, by Tilly suggesting that we not do anything on Valentine's Day - after all, it's all so commercialised. Some context: not long after getting together I suggested that we forego cards and gifts and shiz and, instead, celebrate love every day. I would get little gifts all the time for Tilly and we could maybe have a meal in the week of Valentines, at a time that worked for us, and there would be no pressure. Tilly responded with shock and horror about the idea of there being no card. I learned my lesson. Since that time, in 2007, we have spent each Valentines exchanging cards and gifts with, uh, nothing else happening at all. 2008, pregnant; 2009, not interested in anything; 2010, pregnant; 2011, angry at me; 2012, angry at me; 2013, too tired / on period; 2014, on period / not interested in anything. So... wow.

It's not a bad ale, just, y'know, a bit,
well, it's not romantic is it?

Indeed, I'm not sure I've ever had a
romantic Valentines Day. But, then, that
would be the pressure wouldn't it.
Later that day, yesterday, Tilly texted to clarify that sex was not off the menu, it wasn't on the menu either, but it wasn't categorically off the menu. She just didn't want cards and gifts and shit. Colour me confused as we've spent all of our married life (and indeed every Valentines we've spent together) exchanging cards and gifts and shit with no actual romance on her part and no hint of there ever being anything else beyond the cards and the gifts. Again, for context, gifts for me have been: 2007, chips and dip; 2008, HP Sauce; 2009, chilli snack-a-jacks; 2010, chilli flavoured crisps with dip; 2011, chinese take-out and a DVD (Sherlock I think); 2012, ale (Black Cat); 2013, a DVD night (we watched an episode of Game of Thrones if memory serves) and 2014, no gift, just a card. Spotting a trend? Remember how Tilly hates it if I have anything spicy because she can smell it oozing from my pores?

We spent today putting up those shelves with some company. First we cleared existing shelves and rearranged furniture ready for them and then we had company. Another home-schooling family, the wife of which has been cited by Tilly as wishing she could have the sex-life Tilly does instead of her own. Not sure quite how honest Tilly has been with her friend but there you go. Did I mention they have four children? Anyway, it was a decent enough day, the father of the other family and I get on pretty well and did manly things like erecting shelves, chopping down a very small willow tree and sharing some Mocha ale from Batemans (only 79p from my local supermarket for 330ml bottles: bargain!). I teased Tilly about her disorganisation with CDs, a bit much apparently, and not much was said about anything. This followed an argument this morning as Tilly's friend was still over and the Boy was stropping loudly in our bedroom, I went to whisk him back to his room and Tilly grabbed his leg and held on to stop me. Apparently I had the face that meant I was going to beat him. No, I was tired and trying to solve a problem quickly. Yes, I was angry and upset, no, I would not beat the Boy.

I've definitely mentioned how much I would like
to get flowers too. That is never going to happen.

Still, they say that romance is dead? Blame the
hopeless romantics, resigned to hopelessness:
their romantic plans with sycophantics.
Gifts for her, by the by, have been: 2007, roses, chocolates and a DVD with take-out as well as a meal and cinema trip, oh, and a necklace that she has never worn since that she specifically asked for; 2008, pizza that she was craving, roses, DVD and a meal out; 2009, take-out she wanted (and asked for), roses, book she was hankering after and a DVD; 2010, book she wanted, gift voucher, roses, single red rose, take-out and a DVD night; 2011, roses, book she wanted but couldn't afford, paid for her new boots and a meal out for the first time since 2008 (arranging child-care etc); 2012, roses, books she couldn't justify getting for herself, CD album, day out with children, night off; 2013, roses, book she asked for, day off from children, trip to see a friend of hers; 2014, roses, fake roses, toilet set, vase, bead for her bracelet. Did I mention how much Tilly loves roses? She does, like, a lot.

So, this year there will be no card and there will be no gift. During the day today I asked her to clarify her position and Tilly said that she didn't want the pressure so she didn't want to do cards and gifts. Her response to the sex-thing was luke-warm - it may happen, it may not, but the pressure of it being Valentines was something she could do without.

There were two of these shelf units.
They're not bad and they do improve
the room and our book storage.
This weekend has been another set of time that we have not really spoken. Yesterday and today was spent with Tilly working through and writing her book with her writing buddy and me on child-care duty (which is fine and perfectly equitable by the way). When we had company later today Tilly spent most of the time chatting with the female, let's call them Patti and Ken, and occasionally fielding small people - though they were mainly in the garden on the trampoline. Once the shelves were up, Tilly busied herself sorting her books as Ken and I went to get an ale and then drink an ale. This evening was spent sorting books whilst the children ate tea and played on their iPads that aren't as expensive as all that - they are android devices, Nexus 7s I think. Anyway, once they were a-bed Tilly went and had a bath, then has retired to bed to do more work on her book.

Tomorrow I'm going into work to get some marking done, and tidy my class room, whilst Tilly is going to a pre-arranged arts and crafts do with another home-schooling family, including the boy that Girlie has decided will be her future husband (and the boy agrees). They will enjoy that. The evening is a writing night with her writing buddy and has been booked in. Tuesday will be a day at work too, whilst Tilly goes to Patti and Ken's with the children to have a play-date. Wednesday we're planning a trip to an open farm. Thursday is shopping for furniture. Friday is an IKEA day (we know how to live), Saturday is shopping and the Girlie is practicing for her show with a dance group and Sunday... I don't know. Then I'm back at work. If we have a conversation during my week off I'll be amazed at this rate.

Good grief I can write downers.

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