Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Thursday, 29 January 2015

Rewriting History Again

Been a while, since the start of this blog
in fact. Not repeated.

Still a nice dress, no?
This time last year I was in fine fettle following happy times that had come out of nowhere with Tilly. These were then followed by many heavy hints about Valentine's Day, coming up, and then, of course the let-down. Following this year's sojourn into happy times with Tilly the week has been swallowed by her work and her writing with her buddy. I have used the time to catch up on marking and to try and support my newb at work. It's been hard and it means that some things aren't being done as swiftly as I would like. On the plus side, there's been snow and lessons continue to go well, I can't complain.

No dressing to speak of. I'm still not wearing my wedding ring. The coda of the weekend may have been positive but until I know that it wasn't just a flash in the pan, or even the spark of this time last year followed by a long drought, I'm not sure I want to wear that particular mark of a marriage. It's sad that I'm still thinking like this, what more, exactly, do I want from our relationship? It's one of those points when I'm feeling selfish and another reason why I find it hard to bring things up.

Yeah, it can get to a person.
In the course of the weekend, Tilly once again accused me of talking about nothing other than sex. I asked a few questions in my e-mail that led to the coda and none of them have been answered. She took issue that I was ruling things out on her behalf, but I still don't know what these are (unless things was a misnomer and it was just thing, in which case handjobs). I asked about what she thought of sex and what put her in the mood - to these questions there has been no answer. Again. I'm not certain there ever will be an answer. It's like when she demanded to be woo-ed and I asked what that meant and she told me to figure it out and then, subsequently, told me that she'd already said. She hadn't. It allows her to say, truthfully, that it's nothing that I try. And, in this case, she can make sure I do nothing that she likes as she never has to commit to anything. I also confirmed that she could never have sex again and be happy, in that I posited it in the e-mail and it was not one of the points that she disagreed with.

Funny, I have asked to be woo-ed too, but that's
not something women do for men, so I am
Oh, final point, history has once again been rewritten. Whilst building to our coda she expressed that she felt a little insulted that I had not allowed her to give me a handjob before as she used to be good at it. Or, at least, the men she had had sex with had never complained. So much for once and it being a desultory affair. Oh, her evidence? That I had turned down the offer of a handjob (so long as I didn't finish on her) back in July when it had been offered instead of sex - forever. Oh, and she's told me how she had sexy times with ladies. When I asked and she said they did everything that didn't involve a penis. That's her full confession and I was rude to ask for anything more. No sexy times with more than one bloke and now she's tried handjobs on at least three before me too.

I grow weary of this re-writing of history.

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