|If it please you, I'd like to rewrite history...|
|I don't think I know anyone directly who has suffered or|
died, but plenty of people do.
So this seems a worthwhile thing, you know?
We ended the conversation.
|Mind you, as an historian, I know that only|
historians can re-write the past. In that sense
we seem as powerful as Him Upstairs. We
can change history in a way He tends not to.
This is a female historian.
I identify with female historians.
Later on, Tilly is ill again, she was apologising for being ill. I told her not to be so silly, she is ill, no need to apologise! She said she was apologising for the effects on me. I pooh-poohed it on the grounds that listening to her complain and picking up some slack around the house was hardly on a par with being doubled up in pain. Tilly pressed, "no, I mean I want to have sex again and I can't". Well, thought I, that came out of the blue. And, again, history is re-written. Tilly has never refused sex and never will. The huge gaps? Implicitly down to me rather than her, she wants sex so it must be me that has prevented it. But, again, she's been ill on and off, or on the blob, since April 2013. Two occasions since then (and I complain about neither session) is hardly what she seems to be claiming it is.
This is what I meant when I was talking about 'turning toward'. I find it very hard to be charitable and nice about these re-writes of our relationship. I see conspiracy and duplicity where there is probably only fear and genuine confusion. I'd say something like "who can blame me?" but then I'm hijacking the narrative. I suspect I've done that already, come to think of it.
In other news, I appear to have cleavage. My body fat has chosen beneath my nipples as well as a paunch to collect and I still have a pigeon chest with a wishbone. I look like I have A cup breasts.
|Not far off actually. I have more hair. Body hair.|