Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

We have nothing to lose but our chains

I can heartily recommend this mead. Really.
I paid a tenner, well worth it!

I bought some mead. It is green. I was not expecting mead that was green, I thought it was normal mead in a brown bottle but it was in a clear bottle and green. It is also very nice. Though I may sound it, I am not drunk, it is 10% ABV and I've had less than 50ml of it.

Apparently strict teachers are females.

Well, eh...
At work the Department is moving, I may have mentioned this already, and so much of the spare time (I have spare time at work!) I have is spent putting up posters in the new room preparing for the handover and the teaching that will follow. I have had some actual Head of Department things to do lately as well, including telling a member of staff to be a little less... irregular. She's a great colleague and a good teacher with oodles of determination, grit and ability. She is, in many ways, a perfect minion. Alas, she does have a tendency toward over naivete and over informing people of things. Heh, much like me on this blog. Still, she needed to be carefully warned about some potentially questionable behaviour, nipping it in the bud will prevent it developing into a bad habit and, well, yes, as HoD that's my job. Also, had to lay down the law a bit with some students. I don't like doing it, but I will do it and it was a bit of an arse when they complained about it. Gah. Anyway, yes, if these are the only issues I am very blessed when I think about what my job used to be like at the old place!

Since I have my evenings back to spend as I wish I am of course using them to do very little on the internet. The marking did leave me rather tired but, but this point, I think it's just me being lazy. On the plus side, I have the time to be lazy in. I am spending an inordinate amount of time listening to Epic Rap Battles of History and watching people like John Oliver because... I don't know why. We have also got a number of plants for food in the garden that have become my responsibility to water, I mean, I can't coplain, didn't have to plant them, and so I just make sure they don't die now that Tilly has given up on them. The basil she abandoned now looks thick enough to swing from and the chives that she decided were dead are almost ready to be used in actual food. The peppers she sort of disinvested in are now throbbing and growing ma-hoosive peppers, the radish are huge and the carrots are also looking pretty spiffy. I may be able to save the tomato plants and the potatoes but I may not. I seem to have green fingers. Or, more likely, I just add more water now I've figured out how to do that without drowning the plants.

It would be nice to dress again. I recall that this time last year I was spending some time that way. There's little opportunity when I'm getting up late (well, around the time that the children get up) and Tilly is working in the spare room. There's also the time we spend together that has increased a little from the nadir following the move, but that's a different issue.

So, that's me. My beer brewing is going well, it's burping nicely at the moment four days into the process and so there's about two days to go before adding in the flavour. We'll see. Leaving the last batch a little longer did no harm and arguably improved the flavour. All in all, a good week.

Other news: Tilly and I.

We had a blunt chat on Friday that resulted in some hugs, kissing and even holding hands in public. We have snuggled watching a film and we have snuggled in bed. Last night we sat on the sofa together for the first time since Easter I think. Still no compliments, but we are kissing when I get back from work and in a morning - granted it's me that is initiating (and it is getting harder to do after the initial burst of availability) but at least she's not shrinking away. Yet. There are still red flags, of course, last night we both sat on laptops and when I asked her to attempt the human sexuality map (I first asked back in March, 21st March as it happens) she complained that I was "going on about it". She said "you've mentioned it every day for at least three days" and I countered that three times in three days wasn't "going on about it". She disagreed, but she did look at it. I suspect it will be a while yet before there's any response, but I'd rather she thought about it.

I guess the discussion about sex on Friday, where she revealed that she really didn't know anything about sex, I found a bit of a surprise. To be the leader in a sexual relationship given my... limited experience in the matter was not something I was ever expecting. More to the point, I have done more reading around the subject and thus know more terms than she does, even if I have no idea how to apply them. I was shocked to discover that she has never used nor does she own anything to help her masturbate. I honestly thought that all women had something these days. I asked if she wanted anything, she said she could think of many other things she'd want first. I countered that I would probably get her something anyway and we could both laugh at it for a bit. I explained that I had always assumed that sex would be something we would work at and discover together, trying out new things, with no pressure for either of us to finish off and expectant of laughter and failure along the way. I tried to say that sex, for me, was something that was playful and silly and open to getting things wrong - because we were married, I thought we'd learn together.

I'm not sure how that's gone down. She denied ever refusing sex, but admitted that the examples I was providing must have happened. She denied withdrawing and claimed it was in response to me not trying to kiss her. I didn't push that one, but accepted that we would try to kiss more. We shall see, we shall see.

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