Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Friday, 7 March 2014

Gender

Because, yeah, who wouldn't?
My last posts are weighing heavily on my mind. I was planning a post on Matilda, the character created by Roald Dahl, and how everyone wanted to be her, myself included. I mean, obviously! She was intelligent, polite, faced adversity and could move shit with her mind alone! We'd have to wait until Firefly until we were presented with another character who was so comfortable with their mind and intelligent that they could kill people with it to look up to. I refer, of course, to Summer Gl- wait, no, River Tam. And I had this long complicated explanation as to why I, in particular, wanted to be Matilda even now. I think I mentioned dressing up as her for the last fancy-dress day at my place of work - something that I bottled (duh) and have not returned to. But, then, I am snowed under with marking (own fault), and the children are ill and the conversations from my last posts were shooting round in my head. I am dressed in my new (male) clothes and ruminating on the comments made about them being too feminine. I went on youtube to find the video of the mash-up of Astley and Aviicii (sp?) and was directed elsewhere.


Would you like to know more?




The elsewhere was a channel run by Lacigreen called 'Sex+' and is something that I was intrigued by when I watched the Sex Talk by Tomska. This channel is a treasure trove of snippets but don't expect hard hitting stuff. That said, there was a video that had my juices going about the concept of gender. Now, I must stress that there is nothing new here. Certainly nothing I haven't read, seen and understood in countless other places. Nevertheless, I did find the take compelling enough that it chimed in neatly with what I was talking about here.


I have to say, I get why this is considered 'sexy'.
I don't get how it is seen as being SO different to male
cross-dressing. I mean, okay, I get the idea that males
aren't... well, aren't sexy. But simply to then write off male
cross-dressing as wrong...
And... yes. I am constantly surprised by the reaction that people have to cross-dressing and, by that term, I cover both male and females. In terms of women cross-dressing in male tailored clothing we have a shrugging 'meh' to 'it's sexy' as a range of reaction. Nowhere is there actual revulsion. As I was told: women can wear trousers now and that's not even cross-dressing. Ergo, it is impossible for women to actually cross-dress. Okay, that is foetid shit, but that is a quite prevalent view out there. It would thus follow that men who cross-dress are doing it for motives that are less than wholesome and are, for want of a better word, somewhat dishonest and perverted. It is dirty. Men who wish to appear more feminine are treated with suspicion because, after all, to be feminine is to be seen as weaker and more vulnerable (cf. hyper-femininity and transwomen) and those are not valid traits. Our society has a real problem with, well, women. And wanting to embrace that is wrong.

Oh you get the idea.
Similarly there is the RadFem view that cross-dressing by men is all about trying to invade women-only spaces and further evidence of men wanting to dominate all forms of interaction. I cannot deny that one of my most positive cross-dressing experiences (Toby's birthday) involved spending an evening with 'the girls'. I was dressed as a schoolgirl (with glasses) and ended up talking with the girls and girlfriends more than I did my usual circle of male friends. Hell, Toby spent more time with the men than I did. It was, actually, lovely. I felt much more at ease, much more able to talk and listen than I do usually in social situations. For their parts the girls were wonderfully accommodating and, in some instances, sort of 'forgot' I was there. I mean, they knew I was there and a bloke, but they were prepared to 'let me in' in a way that I have not really been aware of when not cross-dressed. In fairness, I think they would have been happy to do so had I not been dressed but I felt more able to take advantage of that cross-dressed than otherwise. So, there's something to that RadFem view. Except that, I hope, I would never use what I do to invade women-only spaces.

I think that, sometimes, it would be more socially acceptable for me to be addicted to gambling, or have a love of physical violence or drinking or smoking than it is for me to enjoy cross-dressing. Indeed, I suspect that society very much holds that view. And, as ever, I wonder why that is.

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All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!