Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Friday, 31 January 2014

Adventures in being Me

Close to how I've felt all week in one way or another.

Right down to the blouse.
This week has been a good one, bad for my ego but overall a good week. Bad for my ego? In that good things have happened and I have been paid compliments at work. This has been especially clear with students that I teach creating a positive reputation with other staff and one member of my form apparently only mentioning one teacher by name, me, and as the only positive thing about school at the moment where they are feeling marginalised and under pressure. It's also been a tired week in which I have done very little outside of my working hours and had a crick in my neck for most of it.

This is prettier.
In other news, the pink flames appear to have burnt out. I started the week fulfilling a dare to wear my dress with a stuffed bra, tights and boots with handcuffs on. It was very nice, actually, and only the addition of handcuffs made it more sexual than comfortable. Of course I followed up with a pair of briefs for the day after having made lunch and done the washing up en femme. But, since then, the ardour has cooled and I have had little cause nor need to do anything about anything. Apart from going out shopping tonight where I wore my femme watch - which felt perfectly natural and comfortable. I loved the fact that the face is so different (being square) from my normal watch that I have to study it a bit to work out the time. That little pause while I wrap my head around the display is really quite pleasing. I have no idea why this would be the case save for the fact that I remember a similar experience from wearing my mad-ex's glasses.

I could go on. I probably will in fact, so let's put a line break here in case you have, you know, something important and interesting to do other than read odd things about me wearing glasses and watches.

You get the idea. She's not wearing glasses
but she looks like she ought.
I have long been a fan of both watches and glasses, especially those designed for and worn by females, and had put it down in my youth to being shy. That is, I was almost painfully shy around women and girls and so started at their face, as was polite, and then worked my way to their shoes via their wrists. This meant I usually had a good look at any eye wear, watches and shoes that were worn by girls. I got reasonably good at working out the personalities of girls based on their watch choice and their footwear. Indeed, I could usually tell if a watch 'suited' them or not. Not in a physical sense, but in a sense of whether or not the watch would match who they were rather than the clothes they were wearing.

And so it came to pass that I was a bit obsessed about them at University. When I was lucky enough to have a person of a female-persuasion take an interest in me that was more romantic I remembered that some people in my Sixth Form had switched watches as a sign of... uh... something. I did pursue this briefly with that first lady friend but she wasn't very interested (she had a lovely thin-strapped gold edged watch with a rectangular face, black leather strap) and that was perhaps as well given that what I was essentially looking for was licence to cross-dress on an imperceptible scale. She also wore big round glasses as well as, later, some rectangular framed ones. There were plenty of other female watches that I could mention at University as well, and glasses and eye wear generally.

When Toby made her move for me and we ended up as a couple it was therefore natural that I noted her extensive collection of watches and her glasses. She was a watch fetishist, it turned out, and in her own Sixth Form had often worn several at a time on both wrists. She too had a fascination for the watches that people chose to wear and we often compared notes on what we thought of the watches worn by other people. We often came to similar conclusions independently about the suitability of watches, shoes and glasses on other people with much the same reasoning.

Sort of. Close enough.
For her birthday I think I've already gone into detail about how she convinced me (like I needed to be convinced) to cross-dress as a schoolgirl. She provided me with one of her watches (purple velcro strap with a black backing and a round face with a lilac color to it, lines rather than numbers) and a pair of her glasses (clear lenses but tinted slightly to aid her Irlens Syndrome, so a bit blue in effect). I loved both. The glasses in particular were surprising. I have long noticed that, especially at night, bright lights make it hard for me to focus and see things and light in general has lines that radiate from it, often obscuring other things. With the glasses on this effect was removed. I tried explaining this at the time and was not fully understood. From what I can gather, most people don't see lights at night the same way I do - they don't see the lines radiating out from a bright light source and these lines do not interfere with normal vision. So, naturally, I left the glasses on as much as possible on that night. When I took them off, Toby informed me that they also had a very slight correction for long sightedness as well, which helpfully explained why I was temporarily rendered short-sighted after wearing them. Partly due the vision effect with the light and partly that short-sightedness afterward I became enamoured with wearing glasses from that point on. I rather liked the fact that I had to rely on Toby to 'see' things properly without the glasses for a short while.

She had a pair just like these. The ones she loaned me
were clear lenses though. Well, mostly clear.

Oh, very much yes please.
The watch too. I felt very much at home wearing that female watch. So, when I got the opportunity recently to buy a watch for the token price of £4, I snapped it up. Of course I did. And now, whenever I'm out alone for an extended period where I shan't be showing either my wrist or my watch as a matter of course, I find that wearing it is something 'nice'. It feels... well... I've said before that I may be slightly autistic, certainly somewhere on the spectrum beyond the mean, and so I tolerate little around my wrist. When I buy a new watch (so far only owned three since 1996, all the same design) it takes a good few weeks of continuous wear before I cease to view it as an interloper on my wrist, before I can move without really being aware of it there the whole time. It is therefore something of a surprise to realise, tonight whilst shopping, that wearing this female watch is already 'normal'. I've barely worn it but it feels just as comfortable and just as 'normal' as my usual watch. In short, I guess it 'suits' me in a way that I have never really known so quickly before.

Heh, why say things directly when I can write essays on them, hey?


  1. I've always found it incredibly surprising at how something can feel 'right'. I don't share you issue about wearing watches as I've worn them almost constantly since High School. The ones that felt the most correct for my style were always fairly drab with a plain brown or black leather band. The most 'snazzy' one I ever wore was one with a deep reflective blue face. When I got to the point of carrying a cell phone all the time I briefly stopped wearing a watch, but a friend bought me a gift as I was entering Nursing School... a watch with a very easy to read sweeping second hand. I was afraid that the style would prevent me from wearing it comfortably... it was polished and sparkling silver and gold with a metal band. It wasn't just a time piece or tool resting on my wrist, it was art.

    But when I put it on the first time it felt right. Not just good, but RIGHT. I've been wearing it for years now and can't imagine NOT wearing it. It is most likely the most ostentatious thing I wear on a daily basis and doesn't fit my personal style at all, but it feels right and I can't deny wearing it.

    This has nothing to do with feminine, masculine or androgyny... but if you found something that feels right, then I'd say wear it all the time. Let the chips fall where they may when it comes to what people think about you wearing it.

    1. Aye, you make a good point.

      My usual watch, the one that I've had three iterations of (as replacing the battery for the first iteration cost £25 and the subsequent watches were £18 apiece as the design was now an old one, so I junked replacing batteries and just bought new), and the one I've worn since February 2008, is also very much a part of me. I rarely don't wear it and, as long as I've owned it, it has felt like 'me'. Apart from those first two weeks when it felt more like an interloper.

      In short, yes, I know what you mean but I have two watches at present. I've worn *a* watch as long as I can remember and at least since I was five. In fact, I think I've only not worn a watch for about ten days maybe since that time. In total, I mean, not consecutively.

      My normal watch is a drab, military style olive edge, drab (but luminous) face with numbers and three hands (with a date) and an outdoorsy style weave for the strap (the strap holder broke in March 2013 and has been replaced since with one of my daughter's hair bands). I like that watch too. It fits my army surplus coat.

      But, yeah, it appears I have *two* watches now.


All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!