|My life in 2020?|
Used to be my favourite year, you know, and if this
was to be it I'm not sure I would be able to complain
very much more than I do now.
Well, probably about the loss of my family.
Why so serious?
|Yes Wendy, we all wear masks, in a|
manner of speaking...
My respectability, my job, my outward persona is all a big fat lie. I am downright messed up. I have messed with my mind so much regarding sex, for example, that it's hard to know where the part of me that is me begins and where the porn-obsessed part ends. What is action from me and what is a learned conditioned response. In terms of job it's hard to know what is an act and what is really me any more - even with a nice place and good students I have an odd duality that I have noticed before and seems to be increasing. Certainly I am noticing it more in the less stressed environment.
|Made up, a figment, a dream within a dream...|
In all honesty, what else is there?
Since 2000, well, more 1998, I have been trying to find exactly who I am. I have discovered precious little. I have plenty that I am not, but not much of what I am.
|Except, well, in this case it is for boys.|
Though, if GID is genetic/biochemical then what is it that
makes someone male or female?
Hence my fugue. A bad lesson and a lack of marking and unresolved sexual tension with Tilly and a lingering sense of discomfort from my Father's visit combine and the result is this blog. Well, more kind of an ongoing thing, if you've been here a while you'll know that. And a question, the same question: what do I want?
Without a clear aim how can anyone bring down the Russian government?