|Ah, if only.|
I have been, well, at peace. Peaceful. Happy. Content. I have been me, liberated and free, and I have enjoyed the experience. I have revelled in trying new names. I have remembered how much I enjoyed being called by those names. I have remembered how my life used to be. And I have seen just how it could have been.
|Oh, you know, I do envy teachers who can look like this.|
I do. I don't want to be female, no, but I wish I could look
like this. I do.
I have spent a lot of time chasing people to try and get moved. Alright, it has not dominated my every waking moment, but much of my freetime at work over the last two weeks has been spent phoning and chasing and trying to get things done. I have met frustrations and been fobbed off most of that time, but I felt that I was getting somewhere. I managed to get some movement and I managed to beat my way through several brick walls, much was positive.
|Tilly or I? Both?|
|Another bloody text? Seriously?|
That's more than I got before she moved in!
She finds this very hard, I know, none of the people involved in the moving process will talk directly to her as she is not the buyer and so she must chivvy them through me. I get that. But I do not respond well to chivvying. And the pressure today, and yesterday, and over the weekend from home reminded me of the worst times in the last three years. It reminded me that work was a problem only because home was a problem first. My inability to deal with family life led to me first dropping balls at work as I tried to do more at home and failed to satisfy Tilly or our children. As I continued to try and help at home, and failed to make any difference, so I began to get frazzled and failed to keep up with work stuff.
Today was a reminder about that. It was a warning. Hopefully not a herald of how life will revert when we finally move.