Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Monday, 12 August 2013

Love is...

...a bourgeois construct / So I've given up the bourgeoisie

Okay, my heels are much lower than that, well
they're wedges technically. Unless I went with
the boots. Mind you, my legs are massively
I travelled down to my new place of work today and so I had a very long time on my own in the car with music playing to think about things, lots of things, and to think about them pretty hard. I had also entertained the notion, last night before bed (and so through the night as well) of taking my rucksack with me and indulging in some dressing when driving. As it was I did not on the grounds that driving with heels is still something I haven't mastered (and getting in an accident with finances the way they are is not a good plan) and trying to explain to anyone about my driving would be... faintly embarrassing (well, you see officer, I'm not used to driving in heeled boots, so...). Also there was the issue of changing at the other end. I wasn't really going to be a place or position where I would be able to change in private nor would I wish to go en-femme about the area where we're moving to - no sense setting up a reputation ahead of time.

Then there was the issue of driving in a skirt, which I had considered, and rejected because people would be able to look in and see what I was wearing. Yeah, basically there's The Fear going on as normal. It was a shame, because I think I need to do the dressed thing again as it's been so long. However, as I have said on here before, my lingerie needs to be washed before I can reasonably wear any of it again and I'm not at all certain how I'm going to do that without Tilly raising an objection. Or, rather, without upsetting her with the revelation that, yes, I'm still dressing and, yes, I still have clothes that were designed for women. Given previous attempts to raise the subject I'm not sure it would be a terribly beneficial conversation on either part.

...not a competition / but I'm winning

Nearly everywhere looks like this, by the way, and they all
have issues with size 14 tops. I mean, really, are women so
shaped that only their bottom halves are 14s and their tops
12 or lower? Or up in the 20s? I appear to have it backward
being a 14 top half and a 12 lower half generally speaking.
When I reached the place we are to buy I decided to explore the town a bit, after all, I was alone and could move more quickly than last time when Tilly was feeling tender and the Boy was heavy and grouchy because it was hot. I found the main street, choked with charity shops, and so I did my usual trawl. I did not find any tops and purposely avoided skirts and dresses because, as much as I love them, they are not my current concern. There were no real options, like I say, but there are plenty to choose from and it would take a long time for my face to become well known enough to raise eyebrows methinks given the plethora of shops from which to choose. I also discovered a shop that sells wigs, and that's a one time deal methinks if I get the right one, and there were some that had fringes over the eyes - so aces. However, they would set me back about twenty-four of your Earth pounds, so saving up is required for that.

After my decision not to dress I found it strange that I was moved to look in all of the shops and so carefully for a top to match the skirt that I wasn't wearing. Even more so as I still didn't see anywhere in the locale where I would consider it safe to dress and take a walk. The whole process took maybe fifteen minutes in total but it felt much longer. The desire to dress, and to think on the dressing, abated when I was sorting out my classroom to my satisfaction but returned on the drive back from the school. I was testing the route there and back for timing and for ease of driving. It's... not that easy and is likely to be much longer than my commute has so far been. Still, I think the house makes up for that and, if the job is what I think it is, the lack of support procedure will go a long way to making my quality of life high enough to take the hit!

...a battlefield / We are strong

This shirt in fact. For a tenner.
On the way back I got lost and ended up taking a circuitous route back to the place we will be buying, so I eschewed an exact journey and peeled off to the local supermarket to get some food and drink. I hadn't taken lunch and a quick one from the local Co-Op was nice but... small. I found that they had an enormous clothing section upstairs and that there was a sale on. Of course I decided to have a good look. There was a top but it was a tenner and the time was getting on. Deciding that I would be unable to hide the purchase and the time I rejected it and left. On the way back it also rapidly became apparent that there would be no way to smuggle it into the house without being spotted.

Except that there was a call from the estate agents on the way home explaining that there may be delays. To put it bluntly, I may have to rent a place for a month before we can move. Now, if this is the case, then there may be scope for dressing in that first few weeks of an evening. If that is the case then I will be buying that shirt to go with my skirts.

I didn't just think about cross-dressing, I also pondered things like State vs private ownership of services, the conundrum of Non-Profit Organisations and the salaries of their top end employees and the lyrical influences of various groups and songs. I considered wind power versus geothermal on a grand scale and a local one and the efficaciousness of organising things on a local level versus the national level. Sojourns were also had to Russia's anti-gay laws, the nature of equality (opportunity, outcome, start point; economic, social and political; gender, representation and importance) and Physics. It was a pretty long trip.


  1. It sounds like a thoroughly enjoyable drive. I love long drives where you can get out of the every day thoughts and follow lines of thinking that you just generally don't have time for.

    1. Oh, absolutely, entire novels have been planned that way. Now all I have to do is find a way to write them...


All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!