|Feel like a woman...|
Today we went out to look at getting a tablet after I've returned the iPad we had at work to work. However, plans of playing about with some to get a feel in a shop went down the toilet relatively quickly - Tilly was antsy and the children weren't up for their usual MO of watching the big TVs in electronics stores. The Boy, in particular, was haring up and down. The Girlie was upset because she and Tilly had gone off to say goodbye to the old lady that Girlie has adopted from their weekly bus ride to one of her groups. She was there, which was great, but in a hurry and so there was no conversation nor satisfying meeting. Thus the Girlie was in a bad mood. Tilly was also more antsy than usual, like she was barely containing some kind of explosion. We abandoned tablet shopping and decided to hit the nearest park, this turned into one that the Girlie likes about six miles away. There Tilly had to run off to check a clothing store and the Girlie got progressively more difficult to keep a lid on. So we abandoned in favour of a late lunch. But Tilly had decided to get her hair dyed and so we had to go and get the dye.
We got home two and half hours after we left the park for lunch with hair dye and a hair lightening kit. I looked after the pair of them a bit and then went to get the car vaccuumed - it was needed. Then we had tea, Tilly went to get some more dying supplies from a friend and I attempted to look after the children, with whom I had my own blow up, and we contained it as best we could. Then I looked after the eldest and helped the youngest go to sleep. Tilly dyed her hair pink. She's just painting her nails now whilst I have a beer and a blog.
This effect had previously been observed in the park when we met up with another of the Girlie's friends. She and him were paddling in the duck pond and Tilly shared how she had been the same at that age. We noticed that the Girlie was getting more and more of her wet, Tilly reminded me that she had been the same as a child, culminating in sitting down in the water and blowing the consequences but being wet and miserable on the way home. I didn't make the connection at the time but this is a lot like how I view my own indulgence in cross-dressing. Anyway, we rescued the Girlie from herself, and today I noticed that Tilly was doing the same with dying her hair. Sure enough, the moment the children were in bed she set about dying her hair and has ended up doing the whole of her head before applying nail varnish to her toes and is now doing her hands in dark purple. I should point out that Tilly never usually paints her nails either.
And I totally get it. I get how when she asks my opinion my answer is almost irrelevant, how she just needs to change the colour of her hair or something about how she looks. It is irrational and it is not unreasonable. I get the fact that she suddenly hates her short hair and wishes she had let it grow out longer rather than getting it cut short a few weeks ago, even though at the time she had an urge to go almost bald. I get that, I get the feeling and I understand. Ultimately, as I told her, I trust her to do what she needs to do to feel comfortable in her own skin. It's her skin after all and I love her for all of her, the outward packaging is in her hands and she will look good regardless because it's who she is that I love most, not what she looks like. Though I will confess to liking the packaging too.
But that's the thing. Society is pretty accepting of hair dye for women but not for men. I discussed the fact that I had never dyed my hair and that I might try it one day with Tilly. She was rather dismissive. It would look weird, she said; men don't generally dye their hair so it would stand out, she said; men don't really have bright colours so there would be no point, she said; dying hair wasn't really a man thing, she said, it was the preserve of females. And she's sort of right. I dropped the conversation, she persisted in pointing out why me dying my hair was a bad idea, until we moved on to topics about the children.
Sing along, sing along, sing along, sing it!