Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Friday, 24 May 2013

The nineties

Oh, I remember this sort of thing. I do.
Along with big watches and long
I am such a child of the nineties it's almost not true. I mean, certainly, I have some debt to the Thatcher years but my belief that the world needs to be changed and that I can actually change it stems almost entirely from the early nineties, the second summer of love in the UK. That brave and open New Age era that spawned so much experimentation, when the world seemed to be heading to a Golden Age. We watched the Berlin Wall fall in 1989 but we saw the USSR become democratic, with other political parties, and the world seemed to be reaching the end of History from 1992 onwards. The First Persian Gulf War showed us a vision of a different fate with the USA and USSR fighting side by side. Ireland seemed sorted by the Belfat Agreement in 1998, New Labour won a landslide in 1997, the UK won Eurovision with Katrina and the Waves in the same year. 1991 brought rave culture and the Prodigy; 1996 brought Martina Hingis to Wimbledon; 1999 brought the anticipation of the new millennium and anxiety about Y2K. It was a strange decade for me. I came of age, I saw the fashions for women and I was transfixed. I reinvented myself twice: for Sixth Form and University. Nothing was impossible.

This too. Check out the platforms!
My parents split up, we visited France twice, Luxembourg, Denmark, Norway. We moved house. I made new friends, lost old ones, took exams. I painted model soldiers, I mowed the lawn and took out the bins, I learned about BDSM and read about cross-dressing. I dreamed about turning the airing cupboard into a cage and wearing ribbons. I tied myself to my bed and chest of drawers. I read FHM (soft porn) and travelled through school. I wrote stories, lusted after girls, and genuinely believed.

The world was a positive place, terrorism was on the wane, not the rise (or so we thought) and the problems of the '60s seemed... solved. The Shamen, Snap!, KLF...

I am there again, I am feeling that same promise and I am ready to move on. I have been in a kind of limbo since 2007 when I went to be a Head of Department where I wasn't ready. I am older. I am wiser. But I have found that teenager again, that teenager that wanted to change the world, that thought the world could be changed. And I have found that this teenager is female. She is happy.


  1. What a wonderful trip down memory lane Joanna. The 90s were a great time for me too. Having all my college friends around me, getting into the car with no place to go, but heading there with ferocity and intensity.

    Knowing that the present was good and the future would be great. That optimism... that feeling that all is right with the world... I miss that. I'm so happy that you're able to recapture it, and it gives me hope that I'll be joining you there soon!

    1. You're welcome, Caitlyn! And you summed it up better than I could.

      I hope you can feel it again too, and I'm sure you will soon, it is such a rare thing but a beautiful one too.

      Activate the rhythm, the rhythm that has always been within.

      Joanna x


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