Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Saturday, 20 April 2013


Yeah, it's a post about that. Because it appears back on the menu (yay) and I appear to have some odd foibles that I wasn't really expecting. So, I know this is a serious thing and I know that me babbling about sex probably isn't to most tastes. I'm not trying to be titillating nor shooting for sexy so, if you don't want to know much more than "yay, Tilly has thawed the Cold War physically and it is good" - which is well worth knowing - then don't click to read more below.

I guess this is Joanna as a domme?
Before I get to that, some update-age: work continues to remind me how I didn't do enough over the recent break and so I'm not getting on here much at the moment. The Boy and the Girlie have decided it is Spring and so are playing in the garden half naked in the high winds a lot. I am losing my voice due to a cold from the Boy and being back in my usual environment - it does that in the first week back because I talk more than I'm used to and I raise my voice to project (not much shouting except for effect). I still haven't bought the awesome blouse red gingham thing and I may have cyber-dommed with a bloke as a female - which I'm not sure about at all. He was in need of some emotional support, I present as Joanna, and he made some assumptions and I felt bad not following them. All very odd.

Anyway, below there is a discussion on sex at the moment and how it all works, overly analytical no doubt.

So, in coitus, which is great fun, it is me who takes longer to "finish the job" and it has been every time we have ever had sex. When we first had sex back in that first year it was my first time and I didn't really know what to do. I covered the four-poster in rose petals, donned a condom and tried to do it right. Tilly didn't really guide much and so neither of us ended up getting anywhere at first. After the first hour Tilly took charge a bit, guided my actions, and finished. We gave up after a further half hour with me having not finished. This happened a few more times.

Finally, after a visit to the doctor just to confirm there were no physical problems, I loosened up enough to actually finish the job when we had sex but, and here's the thing, it wasn't so much the physical sensations or even the wonderful parts of Tilly that finally took me over the edge. I mean, back then, Tilly would only touch my bits, as'twere, to guide them in, and then not touch much else. I tended to go for the 'whole body' approach and, with some positive feedback, work out where helped her feel good. In the most recent efforts I have discovered that she has penchant for being held down and that extra stimulation is a Good Thing. Of course, I was very prepared to go oral when required.

In contrast, and I did kinda ask, she won't touch my bits very much (and when she does is very unclear what to do with them) and her response to oral is enough that I don't like to even think about asking. She likes to keep to a traditional missionary and, to her credit, tries very hard with her end to help.

Thing is, what gets me finished is to start imagining fantasy stuff in my head - feelings and visuals - that are not connected with the acts we are in the middle of at the same time. So I'm imagining being dressed or being collared or being tied up and it is that which will bring me to finish the job, not anything that's actually happening at the time. This means that the first time we came back she finished the job almost entirely on the physical aspects but I didn't manage at all. I had spent some time selecting condoms, going for ones that boasted mutual pleasure but, what I didn't realise, was that the ones I got were for premature ejaculators - not a problem I have. We tried again, I got a different set, but similar results so I gave into fantasising and then finished.

It does not appear to be a very healthy trait.

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