|Not a bad idea. I'm all for the empowerment of women|
through menstruation. Some of the (limited) research I have
done suggests that it may have been crucial in the
survival of early mankind.
So it has.
I mentioned that I was getting her cold and was told I was moaning about it (standard issue when I'm ill - mentioning that I am ill is complaining, she's mentioned her cold at least four times a day since having it) and then she revealed the menstruation thing. Cue grumpy day on Saturday and me not knowing what to do. She's also been really short with the kids lately, and that always makes it easy for me to be nicer and more measured. However, now that the cold has gone, she took me to task about being too sharp with them on the Saturday. However, this was every time I spoke to them and it got wearing. I realise that I can't really come back on that - she has her excuses - and I realise that I was probably being sharp now and again, and that just made me cross at myself. We went to a local church for an egg-hunt, which was fun, and I ended up with the Boy for the most part and the Girlie latterly whilst he was running up and down outside. At home I corralled them both whilst tea was made.
|Okay, not the best image, but you|
get the idea. I do tend to enjoy- no,
luxuriate in a shower. And now, I
Random aside, Toby and I shared a couple of showers and I have never known anything as erotic and nice as that experience. We didn't do anything in them, we just shared a space and helped each other wash a bit, and not even near the naughty bits. Tilly, when approached about this, has shared she doesn't like showers and looked at me like I'd grown another head when I suggested we share a bath, all this around the time she moved in. Shared baths, therefore, refer to me and the Boy, I will share with the Girlie but we're both a bit big to fit in and it's getting close to the point where I'd feel weird about it.
Then she pointed out that Church wasn't working because she couldn't go and sing with me in such a mood. She does that. It was my fault for feeling bad which meant that she couldn't enjoy what she does. I have raised this before and we've always come to the conclusion that Tilly is getting something out of Church and does have friends there even if I don't. I have withdrawn as much as I reasonably can from Church, I know, because I'm a coward. Anyway, the conversation caused me to snap a little and so I vomited out all my issues with the situation: we go for her; the children are hard to keep under control; having the Boy all the time on weekends and holidays is not beneficial to me; I am aware that all of this is pretty much my fault etc etc.
In the course of all of this Tilly dropped a real gem: "It's this sort of thing that reflects back on the sex thing: why should I make any effort when this is going to happen sooner or later?" And there we have it. Admission that a) my efforts are noted, b) they are ignored and c) she doesn't really care.
I'll admit I was very passive aggressive in return. I told her to look to other people to meet her needs as clearly I couldn't cut the mustard.
On the evening, after the kids were a-bed, I also posted some writing on my other blog that was, I think, a departure from my normal style. On a whim I shared it with Tilly last night and she read it. I know when she was reading it because there were raised eyebrows. Also, when she finished, she praised it as being "something I'd actually read" and pointed out that it was a softer style than normal. I think she genuinely liked it too. This is unprecedented. Also, it was a fairly raunchy piece and so... I don't know any more.
I'm probably not being fair to Tilly here, I've made the past few days sound much worse than they were, I know, but that comment has me rattled.