Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Monday, 25 February 2013

A little help

I feel a bit odd asking this. Please note that I have worked hard to keep this blog honest but totally anonymous - there are no links twixt it and my 'real' life beyond me. Indeed, no one that I know from work or family or friends even knows this blog (or my alter-ego on Google+) exists. I say this because of the details that follow. They are, I hope, anonymous enough to maintain this distance. Also, to reassure people given my request.

I think I've mentioned, ad nauseam, the fact that I'm a teacher. Well, I teach at a school that covers 11 to 18 year olds. It turns out that we are to receive a student that is MtF next September and, being in the cross-dressing TG box myself, my ears pricked up and I wanted to be involved.

Now, the rest of this post is probably quite sensitive. If you already feel like you know too much, I won't be offended if you let me know and ask that I put the break below a little higher in the post!

So, I don't know all that much. No one at the school does. I mean, obviously, my own status is totally unknown to anyone working there and so is the existence of this blog. However, we are a very inclusive school and have done loads of work on making it so - I actually think that's one of the best bits of where I work: the fact that student body are lovely and inclusive.

Mind you, a MtF 11 year old may push boundaries further than the school can handle. So far as I know it's not actually legal for such a student to properly transition until they are much older. This means that she will still be physically male when they arrive even if she is mentally and outwardly female. There are some things we can't change - the unfortunate legal position here means that all documentation and tracking data will list her as a male, though she will be referred to as a female in class and by staff (if that's not a recipe for disaster with well-meaning staff that forget I don't know what is).

So what?

Well, I was wondering if I might ask for a bit of help.

Have any of you attended school MtF and what have been your experiences - what worked to support you and what did not? Were there any well-meaning but ultimately hideously stupid things that staff did? If there were horror stories what do you think could have been done to prevent them happening or even just make things more bearable?

If, like me, you've never revealed anything to school, what would have made school a place where you would have felt more safe? What sort of things would you have liked school to do in terms of preparing other students or staff?

You can leave comments here, obviously, and they can be as anonymous as you like. I don't track anything about commenters unless you want me to (i.e. I think I've turned Captcha off and I'm reasonably certain you can leave comments anonymously). However, if that doesn't work then please use my e-mail at atkinspj@yahoo.co.uk to let me know anything you feel comfortable sharing.

I realise that this is a difficult and grey area. My colleagues at where I work are keen for this to work and be done with little fuss or drawing attention to it. I wish to support them, and the student, as much as I can - obviously - and I want it to work. You can, hopefully, see my vested interest in this case. My employers, my colleagues, do not know about this request and I shan't be using names or other identifiable features from anything you wish to share with me. If any of you have any concerns about what I've asked here, let me know and I shall do what I can to limit any problems you spot.

Finally, thank you in advance, even if you read and say nothing. I am in your debt.


  1. The main problem that I can see is the "well meaning but ultimately obtrusive" questions that will happen with those that know about the situation.

    The best thing to do is LET HER BE WHO SHE WANTS TO BE. Being a teen is a fucked up existence to begin with, as how a regular teen identifies themselves can change overnight .. being MtF can make even that seem normal.

    I would think that she would just want to blend in as best as possible, and not have ANY attention drawn to her at all. Being a teachers pet isn't going to help her any more than being the "faggot who wants his pecker chopped off"

    I say that knowing one of my best friends transitioned and her main goal is to be off everyone's radar. If you don't notice her at all, then she's done her job.

    1. First of all, thank you for posting.

      I agree about the "well-meaning but ultimately obtrusive" questions. Part of why I was posting here - to avoid those questions at school.

      I should point out that one of the few boasts I maintain with the school is its diverse and accepting nature. We're pretty good at this sort of thing, so there aren't 'teacher's pets' - at least, not like the stuff one sees in films, dramas and soaps nor like the sort that existed when I was at school. Educating the student body has so far been the most effective method of supporting students that fall outside of a perceived "norm" but, obviously, is not a method we can employ the same way here without, well, putting her on the RADAR.

      And yes, keeping her off the RADAR is the goal.

      Like most things, this is a minefield.

  2. I gave this quite a bit of thought over night. And sadly... the only thing I came up with is that I don't know. I haven't known anybody (in person) that was transitioning. The only person that I've even heard of locally that was transitioning.... well I'm not proud of how my hometown treated her. But she was an adult. I can't imagine how she would have been treated in high school.

    I'm not sure if this is something you can do yourself, or perhaps as a group with other teachers... but maybe having a private meeting with her and/or her parents. Something where you can ask her directly these questions (without the other students seeing her getting this 'special' treatment). Maybe she wants others to know... or maybe like Dee suggests, she wants to just be another girl at the school, and have nobody know what she's going through. I just don't think you can really know what will serve her best without her input.

    I wish both you and her luck. Even without knowing more about the school, I think she's in good hands as you are showing a great compassion for her already!

    1. Thank you for taking the time too!

      Her parents are in contact with the school but also very much out on a limb.

      We're trying hard to support without giving 'special' treatment and both you and Dee have already helped a great deal in confirming what is already being done, so thank you both!


All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!