I suspect that many, if not all, of my visitors have been keeping up to date with the very interesting situation over at Caitlyn's / Calvin's blog. I have found the whole thing fascinating, which has meant that I can't really post there because I have nothing to add but my own rubber-necking attitude and basic nosiness. I would go further and say that when I first started reading about it I never really considered that I had anything like that kind of issue.
Let me explain, when I started this blog and the whole adventure of the last year or so, I was writing primarily from my own perspective. This blog has been a place where I can truly be myself, in a way that I cannot be anywhere else. I think nothing now of posting on here about loving wearing dresses or knickers or anything. If I wear clothes designed for other people then I am happy to post here about how it made me feel, my reasons for doing it and even how it all pans out. I've even, for the very first time, posted something of my fantasies on this place. And you, my lovely readers, have kept coming back and giving me pageviews - which I am eternally grateful for because I am a complete attention-whore. Some of you lovely people have a very special place in my heart because you have commented and have offered support, you know who you are, or simply called me by a name I liked and treated me with more respect than I deserve. In all of that, I have been myself and the 'me' on show here is as much 'me' as I think I'm ever likely to get.
Imagine my surprise when I started this mad NaNo thing this year. The part of me that posts here and lives in the real world has been doing this since 2006 and that's the part of me that usually writes the prose and the stuff that appears on this blog. The part of me that posts here lives a life and does things in my job and is, to all intents and purposes, me. But look closely at the first sentence of this paragraph. I wasn't going to use that to show what I meant, I was going to refer to my other blog, but then I saw it was already right there. This is what I mean. I think I have created an alter-ego. I think Joanna, or Bex, has become slightly separated from who I see myself as. That is, she has a life of her own.
She has her own Google+ account (I already have one), her own youtube account and even her own e-mail. She posts on Google+ these days, not me, and she uses words and phrases (like "totes" for example) that I would never really think of using. She's more fearless than me too. She's started using the laptop during the day as well, carving out time to be her more and more from my own life. At least, that's the best way I have of describing it. No struggle, no worries, just an observation. When I started getting in contact with old friends again recently I found that she already had a set of friends and haunts that had nothing to do with anyone I knew.
That's it, by the way, it was just a sudden observation as Joanna starts her first NaNoWriMo.
Words of warning and welcome:
This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.
It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!