Eye of braille / hem of anorak / stem of wallflower / hair of doormat
It was while I was at a parents' meeting at the Daughter's kindergarten that I realised some things. In the discussion I found that I had some things to say at some point and so attempted to getr attention, like everyone else, by raising my hand - this failed and eventually I gave up. When I left, early, I had to push past about seven people to leave. Now, there had been another couple who left slightly before I did, they pushed past no one and everyone said goodbye to them as they went. No one even noticed I'd gone.
I have this effect, I am the anti-charisma.
Also, we've been co-sleeping... Tilly has been co-sleeping with the Boy since birth. She got bored of feeding him to sleep. So now she's on the sofa while I help wean him off boobs. So far so normal, I guess, no worries. Here's the kicker: she's banned me from alcohol until she's back in the bed. This quite apart from the fact that she's been drinking and co-sleeping before now. Or the fact that tonight she's out clubbing (granted, she deserves the night) and has been drinking.
When I think of how long I couldn't drink, still can't, at gatherings because I'm the driver and how little I drink when I do drink I get a little mad. There are five wine bottles that are empty over the last week and one beer bottle - all drunk by Tilly. For me? Three beer bottles. That's because we had company, I know, usually it's one. Over the course of any given week Tilly gets through about two bottles of Rose lately.
I feel... emasculated I guess. Heh, shouldn't be a problem, right?
|It's from contemplating the divine, you should go there.|