Words of warning and welcome:

This is very much my blog, so don't be surprised if this doesn't follow accepted patterns and norms. Obviously it started out as a blog about my cross-dressing but it has developed a great deal since then. It is a place where I can be anonymous and honest, and I appreciate that.

It will deal with many things and new readers would do well to check out the New Readers' Page above this and the tag down there on the right. Although there's nothing too bad in here there will be adult language, so be careful. If you think this needs a greater control, please let me know. Thank you!

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

On victim status

In discussion with Tilly over work stuff I ruminated on the fact that contrition for making mistakes seems to work with other people - when they admit that they're in the wrong and show remorse then the horridness stops.  People may not get forgiven per se but the attacks tend to cease and ceasefires take effect.  These lead to truces which, in turn, often result in peace treaties - and mostly without indemnities.  This does not happen with me.  I do not seem to attract forgiveness, ceasefires or truces.  People keep on the attack and take my contrition as a weakness to be exploited further, to allow armies across the Rhine or something.

Tilly agreed.  She stated that she could see why people did that to me, hell, she does it to me, but she could not explain why that would be the case.  Perhaps, she said, it was that feeling that I exude where I'm constantly in the wrong about something. I know that she is right, I've blogged about it before, but I am no closer to working out what to do with that.

It's a short one.  Have a great piece of music.


  1. I wonder how much submissiveness you project in real life. Perhaps people feel that they can continue to press because you allow it.

    Other than that, I would think your wife knows you fairly well enough that she is probably on to something.

  2. It would appear that I project an enormous amount of submissiveness and that people press because they think they can get away with it. And, worse, I suspect that when I do react with a little more steel and self-respect it is so out of character that it makes thinks worse.

    I think Machiavelli had a point - those with a reputation for generosity will have it remembered when they are not whereas those with a reputation for harshness will be forever lauded for their one generous act. In that sense I am the one with a reputation for being a push over.

    Not a pullover, I would like that reputation. Pullovers are nice.


All comments are welcome, I have a thicker skin virtually than I do in real life!