Also, I have no news beyond the fact that things aren't as bad as they have been in the past. Tilly even texted me a hug today, which was nice and unexpected.
It was my daughter's birthday today. Reminded me that I missed out on her party on Sunday. As a fucking tool I forgot to tell Tilly the date of my niece's thanksgiving service, I had to turn up to that, and she organised the party on the same day.
I drove to the Church, about an hour and a half in driving rain and 80mph gusts of wind, sat through the service (I was 30 seconds late) and then stayed a few minutes at the end. Two reasons for the short stay: Tilly expected me back at midday to help pack the party up and my mother's only comments to me were: "you were almost late" and "Did you have garlic last night? You smell a bit". Yeah, I left quickly. Another journey, more rain and the wrong way in the gales, to arrive back in just enough time to pack up the party (to and fro in rain and gales with parcels, presents and other stuff to take home from the hall we'd booked). Then minding the boy and girl while Tilly talked to some parents and had some downtime, then home to do childcare whilst Tilly cooked. Some friends of mine, also my daughter's godparents, turned up (Tim and Lesley) and we chatted. I was on childcare again whilst Tilly did the hostess thing.
Then Tilly took the girlie to bed and I looked after a cranky two year old.
I had one hour of work time in the whole weekend and the time it took to type an entry on here to myself.
But, you know, this is better than nothing I suppose. My grandmother is recovering, looks like she won't die for a while yet and this makes me irritated for no particular reason. Because that's a healthy response to someone getting better. Anyway, fact is that things are better. I'm not as down as I have been on here and I even looked at some pink jeans today. I have, of course, voted - I'm always torn about it. I mean, I have a party of conscience that I vote for, only going to get in if everyone votes like that rather than tactically voting but still, but I also have, in the back of mind, my other thoughts on voting. If there's a big turnout and enough people spoil their papers you'd have a genuine lack of legitimacy in the government and state. By that reckoning I ought to turn up and spoil my paper every time. If no one does it, it'll never happen, right? Be the change you want to see in the world.
I want to make a caption again, but damn those things are hard.
When I look back upon my life / it's always with a sense of shame / I've always been the one to blame // for everything I long to do / no matter when or where or who / have one thing in common too / It's a / It's a / It's a sin
Father, forgive me / I tried not to do it / turned over a new leaf / then tore right through it / whatever you taught me / I didn't believe it / Father you fought me / 'cos I didn't care and I / still don't / understand!
Am I allowed to post an image purely because I find it exciting? I'm sure I'm not really, this isn't that kind of place. Ah, it's my place, what the heck!
|Yes, she looks as happy as I would be with those cuffs and that collar.|
Seriously, I'd like that.