|My ex-boss, with the megaphone, and how I felt, the woman.|
Except that Tilly suggests that this is not the case. It is my successful projection of my own poor self-image and lack of self-respect that leads others to view me negatively and treat me with no respect. My problems at work, she argues, are only problems because I have created them and convinced people of my own view about who I am and what I do.
|Ah yes, the recent BBC Nativity. Sacrily positive is the best way to describe both it|
and the way in which Mary and Joseph must have felt about the news.
1. I haven't posted in ages and that's just rude;
2. On another forum I have recently discovered I made the observation that the people there were "scarily positive" - something that went down quite well it would appear, and so I was pleased that I had made people happy. In another thread someone commented positively on someone else's shoulders and my instinct was to refer to my own as being substandard, in a jokey fashion - I have no real view of my shoulders. But I brought myself up short.
If I suggested that my own shoulders were sub-standard, what was that suggesting about other people? Did I have the right to call my own body into question without simultaneously calling in question other peoples' image of themselves. It was a TG site, people were role-playing as female when they were clearly male. There is no way anyone there resembled their avatars or was able to behave as they do there in real life, myself included. What right did I have to tear away that rather obvious curtain? There is no delusion there, merely a shared understanding that the people who play there, for play it is, agree to play by certain rules - the main one of which is that everyone there who wants to be is, in fact, a female.
|Fear the impotent rage of the|
cute bunny. Except, well, I'm
And all of that just makes me hate myself even more. Which, in turn, increases the disrespect from others and makes it all the harder to stand up to it, thereby starting the cycle all over again. And though I know how to break it, I'm still not doing it. This makes it even worse. I'm tired. I have so much to be positive about, and I'm not being positive about it.
Speaking of that, I'm hoping to get back to my writing. I have another part, I have another story too. I even have something for the literary blog (I'm avoiding TG/CD themes there for some reason). I just need time. Oh, did I mention I ran out of boxers again - more accidental cross-dressing, but mine this time, not Tilly's.
|One of my 'inspiring images' collection. Yes, it is something to|
do with Reality/Shifts, how can you tell?