|She's washing a lemon, not the pots,|
but I would love to have her emotion
whilse she's doing it. Oh, and the hair
with that dress.
I've not been mindful in the shower. I tried again this morning but it descended rapidly into a shambolic planning of the day ahead. My evenings have not been spent visiting my safe place and have, instead, been punctuated by a search for skirts, dresses and shoes. Hardly promising and hardly likely to yield any results other than envy and further low-level depression. I don't really have the funds to splash out on any of these items, I have other concerns, and all looking at these beautiful items does is remind me that I'm not really best shaped to enjoy them, I will not pass! I mean, my hair may need trimming and look like it could handle a hair band but I'm never going to be able to wear such a thng or look good with one. I am, after all, very much a man with a beard and crappy man-skin. Would I prefer woman-skin? I don't even know what that would be much less how it would actually work on my frame.
|It was combats like these that my ex put|
me in. She suggested I buy some. I never
I want to be able to go to my safe place again, but I feel that if I do I will be forcing it - and that just makes me feel worse while breaking down the very parts of that place that I like the most. Maybe tomorrow.